Mark Tabata’s Weekday Devotionals
Wednesday, October 14
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1 Corinthians 4:14-I do not write these things to shame you, but as my beloved children I warn you.
The couple that I was counseling had a lot of anger towards each other.
Joe and Sally (not their real names) had been baptized and saved about a year earlier. They had two children, and both worked secularly. One Sunday after my morning sermon, they came to me and asked for a Bible study. I gladly agreed, and we got together.
It didn’t take long to realize that they were both FURIOUS with each other. Here was part of the trouble (some details changed to protect their privacy).
Joe: Brother Mark, I just don’t think our marriage is fixable.
Mark: Brother, tell me-from your perspective-what the problem is that you all want to discuss.
Joe: She got on Facebook and ran me and my my ex-girlfriend through the mud.
Mark: (Before I could say anything…)
Sally: Me?! What about what YOU said about me and my cooking on Facebook? You told everyone on your page that I cannot cook a decent meal, and that you missed your ex-girlfriend’s cooking!
Joe: I didn’t tell everyone that I missed my ex-girlfriend’s cooking! You did that on your Facebook post, blasting me and telling everyone on God’s green Earth how angry you were at me!
Mark: (Still unable to get a word in…)
Sally: You are always posting on Snapchat about how I look like a dog when I get caught in the rain. You even showed photos!
Joe: That is an exaggeration. You are always getting on Facebook and TikTok and telling everyone whenever I do anything that makes you mad! Why are you blaming me?!
Sally: Why are you blaming me? You never listen to me!
Joe: Well, you never listen to me!
Mark: Both of you, listen to me!
(Joe and Sally stopped glaring at each other long enough to glare at me. I think they forgot I was there. Then they allowed me to share some biblically sound counsel with them. They took it, and thank God, they were able to work through their marital issues).
I wish I could say that Joe and Sally’s experiences regarding social media and their relationship were unique, but I can’t.
In fact, I have worked with more couples and families over the years whose relationships have been strained, jeopardized, and sometimes destroyed over issues stemming from social media.
And guess what?
The main problem isn’t social media!
Look at what Peter says.
1 Peter 4:8-And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “LOVE WILL COVER A MULTITUDE OF SINS.”
The Apostle here tells us about how love “will cover a multitude of sins.”
What does that mean?
Because love covers a multitude of sins — This is the reason why Christians are strenuous in their love for each other. The same statement also occurs in James 5:20.45 “Covers” represents the Greek word kaluptō, which means “to cover up, to hide, to veil, to hinder the knowledge of a thing” (Thayer). Perhaps the “multitude of sins” that are covered are the sins of the one extending his or her love. The idea would be that when we love others God forgives our own sins.46 Perhaps the “multitude of sins” that are covered are the sins47 of the one who is the object of the Christian’s love. Love doesn’t magnify or publicize the sins of others into an excuse to quit showing love. The person who wants to love (extend acts of help and kindness) can do so in spite of the sins observed in the life of the one being helped. It is not that love is blind, but it is that love loves a person just as he is, faults and all. (Gareth L. Reese, New Testament Epistles: 1 2 Peter Jude-A Critical And Exegetical Commentary, 4063-4070 (Kindle Edition): Moberly, MO: Scripture Exposition Books LLC).
When you love someone properly, you want to do what you can to shield them from embarrassment. Public shaming for private sins or offenses is not a good way to love someone properly, and I have never seen a soul saved in such a fashion.
Someone may say, “Social media is the culprit.”
In Joe and Sally’s case, social media did not help, but it was not the primary issue.
The problem was that they, in their anger, communicated to everyone else why they were angry instead of speaking to each other. They spoke about each other instead of to each other.
People have been doing that for years!
Social media just gives people a wider audience to gripe and shout out their personal grievances.
My advice to Joe and Sally was simple.
Deactivate all your social media for one month, and commit not to talk to ANYONE ELSE about why you are angry with each other if you get on each other’s nerves.
Instead, talk first to God (Philippians 4:6-7).
Then, to each other (Matthew 5:23-24).
They told me that advice helped them and their marriage.
They also decided not to start back on social media, because the temptation was too great to get online and post about each other when they get annoyed.
Good for them!
When your spouse, or child, or friend, or brother or sister in Christ, does something to annoy you, and it is something that you cannot overlook (Proverbs 19:11), go speak with them privately; going to others should be an absolute last resort (Matthew 18:15-18).
Keep people’s private offenses, failures, and struggles, in confidence.
Proverbs 11:13 (TPT)-You can’t trust gossipers with a secret; they’ll just go blab it all. Put your confidence instead in a trusted friend, for he will be faithful to keep it in confidence.
Luke 6:31-And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.
In essence: ponder before you post.
Lord Jesus, help us to follow in Your footsteps in all of our relationships. Amen.
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